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F@*% Couples Therapy

In today's Washington Post, a piece about older folks having sex contains a priceless quote from an area psychologist that pretty much confirms my long-held, unscientifically researched biases about marriage, relationships, and men in general: "A man can have all these problems with his wife, but when we fix the sex life, the other things go away." Have truer words ever been spoken? Seriously. Men are simple creatures, God love 'em, especially when it comes to their personal lives. Just give them more nookie and--whammo!--they become infinitely more pleasant to live with. Throw in a cheerleading costume and a can of whipped cream and you can damn near convince the little darlings to do anything.

Many women find this single-mindedness annoying. (For an at times amusing, at times unbelievably tiresome account of one gal's efforts to cope with her husband's libido, check out Joan Sewell's 2007 book, "I'd Rather Eat Chocolate"; or just read Sandra Tsing Loh's somewhat rambling review in The Atlantic.) But I say, "Work that angle, ladies." Don't worry about that extra three pounds you've put on since the baby came, or that dent you put in the car, or those long hours you've been putting in at the office.

With just a little extra effort in the bedroom--or, for additional style points, on the hood of his car!--you can make your lover forget about all the annoying stuff you do on a regular basis. Now if only I can get down to the costume store before Chris figures out what really happened to his new i-Pod.

--Michelle Cottle